Mother of the Jedi
by Kristenkooistra
Summary: Haunted by the thoughts of her late husband's death Kristen Solo Skywalker makes the decision to once again leave her home. Moving her little family, she heads to the planet of Tatooine.


**Mother of the Jedi**

**Prologue**

"Nooooooo!" Kristen Solo Skywalker woke up thrashing. She kicked and finally fell out of her bed, entangled in her sheets. Realizing where she was, she relaxed and laid on the floor. Once she regulated her breathing, she untangled herself and stood up.

Throwing on her boots, she slowly slipped out of her home. Looking around, after she'd traveled out of hearing distance, she headed further into the swamp world of Dagobah. Running her fingers through her hair, she sighed and shook her head. She hadn't been sleeping well lately, and when she did sleep, she was tormented by nightmares.

For some reason Kristen had been wound up ever since her late husband had died. Sometimes she wondered when she'd get over it, if ever. She felt torn, as if two seperate worlds were pulling her into completely different directions.

Stopping, she slumped to the ground in despair and desperation. She cried out in anguish, curling up like a little child, she wept as though her heart was breaking.

Feeling a presence near her, Kristen straightened. Sitting near her was her mentor and teacher, Obi-wan Kenobi.

Obi-wan looked into the bright blue eyes brimming with tears. She was so vulnerable, so often she came across as unpenetrable. Yet it was times like these, when she was at her lowest point that he could see how young she truly was. Too young to have gone through everything that she had been through.

"I don't know what to do Obi-wan. I'm so lost and this time it isn't just me I have to think about. I have five kids and a padawan. All of my life I've only had to think about myself, even when He was around. For the most part we went about our seperate lives. Now I have to put someone else's best interest in front of mine. Before I would've run away, I'm not so sure if that would be the best for them. I want to curl up and die, but I can't leave them. I got them into this mess, it's my responsibilty to get them through it," stopping, Kristen looked at him expectantly.

Obi-wan slowly pondered this tirade. What could he say, he'd never gone through anything like this. Who was he to give advice? He knew that she was waiting for him. Finally he said, "I honestly don't know Kristen. When I faced my biggests problems, I found that finding somewhere away from the problem often helped me to work through my situation."

"I want them to have some connection to their father. That tie is already fragile as it is, I don't want to destroy it by leaving.

"Are you willing to damage their tie with you in order to maintain their, as you rightly claim, fragile connection with their father? He wasn't involved in their lives and though that may be no fault of his own, he wasn't even that involved with you."

Pain crossed the face of the young woman, "Yes, though I hate to admit it, he seemed to have more important things on his mind besides me. I don't doubt his love, I was proud of his commitment, but for some strange reason I...I..."

"Wanted a relationship?" Obi-wan softly inquired.

"Yes. It seems strange, for me anyway, but I wanted more. More then he was willing or able to give."

"I understand and I don't fault you for it." Standing up he looked down at the woman in front of him, "I know that what ever you decide, it will be because you think it is best. Just remember that I'm supporting you." Turning he faded away into the gloomy twilight.

Coming to her feet, Kristen headed back. Sighing, she lifted her head and saw little arrows of light beginning to penetrate the fog. Glancing around in suprise, the corners of her mouth lifted, not a smile, but almost. If light could somehow manage to come through on this dismal planet, then maybe, just maybe she could eventually begin to come through and live again. Her feet lifted and she began to run, faster and faster, letting all of her troubles fall away from her shoulders. They would leave and start over again. Life would go on, things were going to get better, they had to.


End file.
